let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
