if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
where am i from again
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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