take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Send help, water and tortillas.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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