Michael Bay diarrhea
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
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