Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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