i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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