margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
