i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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