You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
