so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
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A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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