Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
