"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
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Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
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Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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