Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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