he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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