So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Randomize