You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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