I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
