i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
