gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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