Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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