I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
