I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
