Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
