So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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