pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
