Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
