do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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