i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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