thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
