Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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