Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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