we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Randomize
