wake up i wanna do it froggy style
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
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