Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
