the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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