Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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