No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
