who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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