i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
