we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
