Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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