one might say we're banned from that church
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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