Porn is love you can see.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
