i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
