oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
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I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
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You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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