mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
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When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
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I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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