Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
