I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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