idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
