Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize