I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
