so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
