I am puke
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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