A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
