What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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