I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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