In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
