Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Randomize
