Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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