He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
