I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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