OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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