AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
